Welcome to St. Andrew's Lutheran Church, Kamloops

George RR Martin, an American author wrote: “Some old wounds never truly heal, and bleed again at the slightest word.” The words first spoken by the Pharisees in today’s Gospel lesson make old wounds bleed: “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”

The words of Mark 10:2-12 can make both pastor and parishioner hemorrhage. Their minds can be filled with memories of their own failed marriage, or the failed marriage of loved ones. We hear Jesus’ pronouncement. “What God has joined together, let no one separate.” God’s word, the Holy mirror, is set before us. What hope is there for the man or woman wounded by divorce? Yet, there is hope and there is grace. 

First and foremost, we must look at the context for Jesus’ word. We can never forget that some unnamed Pharisees came and tested Jesus by asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” Their question on divorce arose from Deuteronomy 24:1-4 which declared: 

If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, 2 and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, 3 and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, 4 then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the Lord. Do not bring sin upon the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance.

Divorce seemed to be enshrined in God’s law. However, the meaning and application of Deuteronomy 24:1 that a husband could divorce a wife “who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her” was the subject of much debate. Some rabbis believed only infidelity, adultery, justified divorce. This understanding was espoused by the first century rabbi Shammai. Others believed the husband could divorce his wife for almost any reason the husband could think of. First century Rabbi Hillel wrote that even if a wife burnt his meal, a husband could divorce his wife. 

The Pharisees sought to bring Jesus into this dispute between schools of rabbis. They wanted to put Jesus on the horns of dilemma. No matter what he said, they thought, we have him. We can discredit him. People will see him for who he is. 

If Jesus sided with Rabbi Shammai and allowed the husband’s issuance of a certificate divorce only if the wife was unfaithful, the Pharisees could berate Jesus. “Aren’t you a friend of sinners Jesus?” “Your stance is very harsh! Shouldn’t you try to help these people who got divorces for reasons other than adultery? 

On the other hand, if Jesus sided with Hillel, and allowed divorce for any reason, including, burnt food, too many birthdays, or too many wrinkles, he would also be attacked. “Jesus,” they would shout, “You mock the Holy Law of God given by Moses.” You are a man of influence. Your stand on divorce will embolden men and give them permission to divorce their wives for any reason. The rate of divorce will skyrocket. How can you say you are “a man of God.” 

If he were to say that divorce is never permissible, they would charge him with contradicting God’s Law. Deuteronomy 24:1-4, clearly allowed divorce. 

Jesus did not fall onto the horns of the dilemma the Pharisees had constructed. Jesus used Scripture to interpret Scripture. Deuteronomy 24:1-4, had to be read and interpreted in the light of Genesis 2:18-25 and God’s intention for marriage. 

This morning’s reading from Genesis 2 declares that God’s intention for Adam and Eve, the very first human beings and parents all who followed them was for them to be healthy, happy and loved. He gave them a beautiful garden, good food and water, and the privilege to tend it. God wanted them to love one another. God took a part of Adam and made Eve from that part. When Adam saw Eve he saw a true soulmate. When they came together Eve completed Adam and Adam completed Eve. Together, Adam and Eve became something bigger than themselves. Their relationship was like no other in the world. Their relationship was created by God and an inherent part of them as a man and a woman. Adam and Eve were bound together intellectually, emotionally, spiritually and physically. Together they could accomplish infinitely more than they could alone. From their union would come all future generations, men and women that would be bound together in intimate loving monogamous heterosexual couples that would bring forth the next generation of human beings. 

This was God’s perfect plan for humanity. However, we all know that God’s most passionate desire for humanity was derailed by the humans he had created in His image. Sin came into the world and into the marital relationship God had created.

By the act of issuing a certificate of divorce and sending his wife away, the husband had himself separated what God had joined together. Therein lies the sin. The marriage is not dissolved by God and therefore is not dissolved in God’s eyes. Therefore, when that man remarried and united with a new wife, he became an adulterer and his new wife an adulteress. 

When the rabbinic grounds for divorce were held up to the light of God’s original and holy intent for marriage, their true nature is exposed. Hillel’s liberal views are exposed as petty and ugly. How can a man stand before God and justify sending his first wife away because he no longer found her pretty or a good cook? What motivated him to divorce his wife was an unquenchable desire for a younger prettier wife. How can that act of separation be made righteous before God? 

Jesus did not deny divorce under all circumstances. He preserved adultery as grounds for divorce. The wronged spouse was free to divorce the adulterer and remarry. However, even this concession, must be viewed in the light of God’s intent for marriage. While separation and divorce are allowed in this case, if the spouses are believers aren’t they called to try to work things out? What if, in the process of trying to work things out, the adulterer comes to their senses, repents and asks for forgiveness and promises to be faithful? Isn’t the wronged spouse called by God to forgive their errant spouse and try to work things out? This what Paul argued in 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 and encouraged spouses joined together by God to work it out. 

Paul wrote of another concession, if a believer is married to an unbeliever they are to remain in the relationship for the sake of the couple’s children and the hope of conversion of the unbelieving spouse. However, Paul wrote if the unbeliever leaves the marriage, the believer can end the marriage and remarry. 1 Corinthians 7:12-16.

Jesus declared that divorce could never be a right a person claimed. Divorce cannot be justified – that is declared or made righteous before God. Divorce was always – and still is - a concession given by God, because of sin. Sin infected marriage and contorted it horribly. Divorce was instituted because the hearts of men and women can be very hard. 

These rules are very – very strict. When Jesus laid out his position on divorce in the beginning of Matthew 19, the bewildered disciples responded: “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.” (Matthew 19:10). 

There seems to be no hope for men and women touched by divorce. But there is. We must go back to the beginning of the sermon, to the first question asked by the Pharisees. They wanted to know. Is divorce lawful is it justified? As we have seen it can never be justified before God. However, no person there, not one Pharisee, not one of Jesus’ disciples, asked our Lord a crucial and critical question. Can divorce be forgiven? 

Of course, divorce can be forgiven by God. Divorce is not an unforgivable sin. 

When words pick at the old wounds of the one cheated on or abused in a divorce, feelings and emotions erupt including anger, disappointment and betrayal. Many would argue that these feelings are justified. The betrayal was real. Heaped on top of betrayal there may have been physical and emotional abuse. However, as Christians we are called to forgive. We are called to love our enemies and do good to those who persecute us. Read Matthew 5:43-48. We can all recite these words and sincerely want to fulfill them until we are mistreated by someone who becomes our enemy. 

It is at that moment that God reminds us that the one who cheated on you and abused you, harmed not only you, but because you are a member of the body of Christ, they cheated and abused Jesus, the Son of God. Saul (who later became the Apostle Paul) abused and even conspired to murder Christians (Paul encouraged the crowd to kill the first martyr Stephen). When the risen Jesus met him on the road to Damascus, he asked Paul: “Why do you persecute me?” (Acts 9:4) A sin against a member of the body of Christ is a sin against Christ. God will not let the injuries inflicted on His Son and His children go unpunished. As members of the Body of Christ we remember that Jesus died for our sins and did not hold them against us. We are saved by God’s grace through faith in Jesus, not because of our works or any value within us. 

Jesus’s most passionate desire is that we forgive those who hurt us from the heart. The anger and other feelings produced by the wounds of divorce are burdens which keep us from walking effectively with Jesus. They weigh us down and rob us of joy. We must remember Jesus words recorded in Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” The injuries from a divorce are burdens Jesus invites you to give him, so you can be set free of them. Then you can know the will of God and walk in step with God. You can pray that God will reach out to your oppressor and move that person to repent and change. Move that person to want to reconcile with you. To ask you for forgiveness. Then the wounds of divorce can be healed and words that once picked at your wounds without mercy will not cause them to bleed anymore. 

When words pick at the old wounds of the one who caused the divorce, feelings and emotions erupt including guilt, self-loathing and fear. In those dark moments they wonder: Will God forgive them for causing the divorce?

The guilt, self-loathing and fear are burdens that keep the guilty ex-spouse from walking with Jesus and with others in intimate relationships. When divorced people remarry the failure rate for the second and third marriages is far higher than in first marriages. In a 2024 edition of Forbes magazine, quoting US government statistics, it was revealed that 43% of first marriages fail. These same statistics reveal that 60% of second marriages end in divorce and a whopping 73% of third marriages end in divorce.

Jesus calls and bids the guilty spouse in a divorce to come to him with their burdens. He promises to take them away. For those who repent and believe Jesus promises that he died on the cross as punishment for every time the offending spouse committed adultery, lied about it, squandered marital resources on it, and/or abused their spouse emotionally and physically.

Jesus assures us that God does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is God’s steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust. Psalm 103:10-14. 

With David those forgiven by God through faith in Christ, should cry out to God: Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. (Psalm 5:10-12). Jesus can change the heart and mind of the repentant sinner and create in them a desire to beg for the forgiveness of their ex-spouse, their children and all who they have injured. The new spirit given by God can cause reconciliation between warring spouses and children. Restitution can be made. The Apostle Paul declared that as God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, he no longer counts people’s sins against them. (2 Corinthians 5:19). Past adultery and divorce are no longer counted against the Christian reconciled by God through Christ. New beginnings are possible. New relationships and new marriages. The new start is by no means justified. It is an act of grace, conferred upon a sinner redeemed by Jesus and received through faith. Through Christ the wounds of divorce can be healed, stopped and the gateway to a whole new life is opened. 

Amen. 

https://youtu.be/MsMv4IsZNic

Copyright © 2024 St. Andrew's Lutheran Church, Kamloops

https://standrewsluthean.ca